Something changed with my relationship.
After all the tumultuous times, we are cruising along fine, my baby and I. He has become super-sweet and stuff, I wonder what happened. But I aint complaining. Its all good. We’re still naughty but I guess its a mark of a mature relationship 
Whew, almost a year since my last post, huh?
Been sooooo long…
I have been a very naughty girl *wink wink* Cant help it, the boyfriend has been just as naughty (teehee…). We have done some pretty naughty stuff (okay, okay, might be pretty lame by some standards, but quite naughty by ours)
Suffice to say, my bedroom in Bicol and our roof deck will never be the same again
Of course I wont tell. Duh!
my man and i, we aren’t so good today. he needs his guy time, he feels bad for something he did to me. i don’t know how to make him feel better so i am giving him his quiet time. its killing me but what can i do?
this is pure torture but what the heck! let’s see where this gets us.
Today I crossed a boundary I have never ventured out into. I thought it will be scary but it turned out pretty well. I am happy with how things turned out and I am glad I finally had the courage to cross that bridge. -)
My friend James went through some hell recently. I am afraid I may be going through something similar. How do you end a financially abusive relationship?
I am no longer happy doling out money. I have spent so much. Problem is, how do you stop this abuse? I am pissed at myself that I always seem to wanna help him when I shoould be panicking that my debt is piling up and its all because of him.
I need to wake up from this. I need help. I need my guardian angels.
Sigh…
Last night, my man opened up to me about being lonely after moving out of the paternal home, about his seeming helplessness… It felt good to have that conversation with him. I’m glad he told me about what was eating at him.
We had another such conversation earlier this afternoon. Of course he is still coping with the loneliness and the usual shortage of funds, but he was sweet and funny. I love when he calls me “baby” in an extra sweet voice. I love it when he gets extra extra malambing. Oh I am such a goner! Sigh…
I love this feeling. I am sooooooo in love!!!!
My man’s moving out of his paternal home and will be renting an apartment for his family. The cost is killing him and I suspect it was Jane that caused all these chaos! Oh well… I guess he has to grow up and be a man too!
What I don’t like here is that he is melancholic, nostalgic and generally sad. What eats at me is that it bothers me that he is this way. I don’t wanna abandon him but who can live with someone who is lethargic, bordering on pathetic?
Sigh-ness…
I need some distraction! I wanna go shopping but I have no moolah. Most of its with him already.
This is total shizz from every angle. I cant cope! Argh!!!!
Am I still doing the right thing? Am I still in control here?
I have a feeling that I have created a monster in my boyfriend. He has become dependent on me for a lot of things: I bail him out financially, I help him with the radio ads, I write his scripts, I did his resume… In fact, the only thing I haven’t done is to be his sex slave! Am I still doing the right thing here?
When we first started out, I only wanted to be a positive force in his life, to be some sort of inspiration for him, so that he will do something to make his life better. But I dunno if I ever succeeded in that. Sure, he is taking steps towards a better life by applying for another job but when will the abuse end? Will I have to bail him out several times in a week? Why cant I say no to him?
Maybe I need to distance myself from him. This is no longer healthy. I may have created a monster and now its terrorizing me.
Monday, May 10, was heaven for me. For the first time, my baby kissed me fully on the lips. And on two different occasions! Yay! It felt good to be kissed that way. I wish we could kiss more often but he is not that comfortable displaying such an affectionate thing to the public.
I just came back from a five day stay in Bicol and it was well worth the trip. Not to mention that the Bank paid for the entire thing so…
I miss him. I miss my baby. I wish I could hug him again. Its going to be another six months before I see him again. This is going to be torture. Dayum!
I’ve been hit by a curveball!
Never in all my life have I ever imagined that I would ever stare the green-eyed monster in the face and end up losing! Dayum! But now I must admit defeat.
Yes, I have been beaten by the green-eyed monstey. And it aint a good feeling!
I wish I could just as easily dismiss those three pesky laydees who have taken to calling themselves my baby’s “angels.” Oh I wanna pluck their eyes out! Angels, my ass! Ha!
But I know I am just being unreasonable here. I am glad my man is mature enough to simply let me go through with this and not make a mountain out of the whole thing. He did tell me to stop being jealous because they are just fans. Still…
I guess I am just being a typical female. But I don’t like the feeling of not being in control of my feelings…
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